Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Congratulations! We have a period
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
