i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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