maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In other news, I just burned my penis
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got inside last night via doggy door
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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