The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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