it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
