I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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