Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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