It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
