Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
