She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize