nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
