My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm bleeding and have questions
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
