sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
