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my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
