let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Randomize
