A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
