And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
my nose is crying tears of wow.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
