he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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