im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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