Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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