My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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