I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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