sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
