I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
