I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
