CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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