i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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