Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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