she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
