I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
