sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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