so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
