Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
