There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
