Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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