i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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