He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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