I'm eating all of the evidence.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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