Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
