I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
