The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize