The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
