omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
