I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
