I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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