She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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