There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
where am i from again
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
