i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are two peas in an std pod
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
