Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
