And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Little spoons don't ask big questions
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
