Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
