Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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