remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
