When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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