dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
