Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish you could order shots online.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
