I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
