mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
