Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize