She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Your cock deserves a montage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize