i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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