Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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