dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
