pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
