Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
