so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
