Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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