it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
